Writing – Ammie-Marie Littke

I Knew You Before | Poem

Ammie-Marie Littke — Sat, 23 Nov 2024 00:00:20 +0000

Time moves so differently now, in the aftermath of the COVID-19 pandemic. Before then, it seemed easier to stay connected in a world that was full of hope and prospect. Now, we’re nearly 5 years into the 2020’s, and yet… it doesn’t feel like that much time has passed. For me, the world has broken up into fragments of reality. Nothing feels the same as it once was. It’s hard to measure the scale of ever moving days on the calendar. A symptom of time blindness, I fear. How do you grieve for the loss of a person you lost connection with over the years, but still remember as if you last spoke to them only yesterday? Someone you once knew before the world changed — along with the person you once were, too. Grief is a compounding element of life, forged between the reality of mortality and the future dreams of subsiding youth. It cares not for the promise of tomorrow, making its entrance suddenly and without warrant, stripping you of solace and hope. We change and grow with the shifting of time, often whether we want to or not. In the wake of the absence of a loved one, we mourn the person they once were to us during those seasons of our lives. We remind ourselves of how much of an impact they left on us as we continue to find new meaning in the world they left behind. I met her shortly after I moved to Ohio in 2005, on Halloween of all days. Just a week before, I’d turned 15 years old, and would be helping to chaperone a group of younger kids for trick-or-treat. It was my first holiday around newly discovered family and extended family, and Angela was introduced to me as Annie — Aunt Annie, at that. For nearly 15 years, we spent many celebrations, gatherings, memorials, and holidays together as part of each others’ extended family. I enjoyed our shared moments, conversations, and friendship throughout that time, however fleeting it may have been. Unfortunately, the past four (4) years have certainly taken its toll, and I’ve lost connections with most people I’ve loved in my life — as have many people in the aftermath of the pandemic. We last saw each other around the time my grandmother passed away in 2020. As a young teenage girl, she made me feel “seen” when I didn’t quite know my place in this world. I effortlessly gravitated towards her humorous quip and infectiously welcoming personality. She was a beautiful, loving, compassionate, and courageously wonderful human being. I may have only known you for fragments of my life, in a time before the world changed, but I’m grateful to have known you at all in the time we had to share. Rest in peace, Aunt Annie. 🤍 You were loved.

Happy Birthday, Oly | Lyrics

Ammie-Marie Littke — Sat, 06 Apr 2024 21:16:07 +0000

Happy Birthday
To the one who gives me hope
When my world is falling down
I remember I’m not alone

You are my sanctuary
In a lifetime full of strife
You help to heal the broken
And you’ve saved so many lives

PRE-CHORUS:
I know sometimes it feels like
The world is always on your shoulders
How can you carry
Such a heavy, heavy load?
I know sometimes it feels like
You’re always on the road to nowhere
Don’t you know you always
Have somewhere you can go?

CHORUS:
You feel like home to me
If you ever wanna go
Look back, you’ll see
I’m waiting for you patiently
You don’t have to be so strong for me
You are my family
You make it make sense to so many
Because of you, we all have plenty
I’ll always love you endlessly
Every day,
I wish you happiness and strength
I hope you will always find your way
Where the magic never ends
Happy birthday
Happy birthday
Happy birthday, Oly

Your laughter echoes in my mind
A beautiful sound so unrefined
I can picture you dancing under moonlight
These are the best days of your life

So you know, you’re never really all alone
The spirit of our love is always with you
May it always follow you and guide you
Through the darkest of your days

(PRE-CHORUS, CHORUS)

You’re not broken
When you leave your heart wide open
It’s okay to not be okay sometimes
You’ll find your way in the morning light

You mean so much to me
You are my family
I wouldn’t trade a single day
Even if it meant eternity

Cruel Intentions | Poem

Ammie-Marie Littke — Wed, 27 Mar 2024 03:52:07 +0000

Cruelty amongst humanity knows no boundaries
The web it weaves can ensnare the utmost virtuous
Taunting the innocent with opportune dismay
Empowering the guilty with trials less arduous

It poaches the confidence of assaulted daughters
And teaches them to be vigilant in the shadows
It inhibits the ambitions of disgraced sons
And strips them of a namesake honor to bestow

It diminishes the strength of steadfast fathers
And lures them into an early grave
It tangles the tongues of resilient mothers
And reminds them of how a lady must always behave

It wretches the prudent minds of aging elders
And strips their wisdom of assured securities
It nurtures the latent virtues of newborn babes
And fouls their formative bonds with impurities

Every living being inherits the ability to be cruel
Fostering a hidden potential for mass destruction
Guided by the kaleidoscopic vision of their ideals
Awaiting a fractured moment to reveal its seduction

We walk through this life with luminous choices
Exasperated by the moral dilemma of conscripted blindness
To follow the footsteps of those whose light has diminished
Or stray towards the radiant uncertainty of kindness

The burden of mankind is to be benevolent in moments of despair
A decision we must carefully consider in the matrix of rage
As we weep with grief in the fading memory of happiness
As we learn to forgive in the comforting arms of endless pain

Where one is callous, be compassionate
Where one is cowardly, be courageous
Where one is dishonorable, be distinct
Where one is greedy, be generous

In a world where a sunny day can be marred by fallen ash
In a society where a wayward glance can shut eyes forever
In a life where survival only befits the hungry
In a reality where your dreams may never endeavor

Be proud of your wrinkles, sunspots, and scars
Your graying hair, stiffening limbs, and maturing mind
For you have lived a virtuous life of wisdom and valor
If, in the face of cruelty, you chose to be kind

Expendable | Lyrics

Ammie-Marie Littke — Sun, 24 Mar 2024 21:01:55 +0000

Ammie Harman · Expendable (A Cappella) [Demo]

You tear me down, tear me down
Tear me down again
You say I’m bad, say I’m bad
Say I’m not your friend
You cut me off cold, baby
With your sharp knives
You left me in the dark
Fighting for my life
You got me lost, got me lost
Got me for the last time

PRE-CHORUS:
It feels like we’re running
Back to the start, ah oh
I admire your crafted lies
Like a work of art, oh

CHORUS:
I know you’re not a friend
This is where the end begins
You’re a touch of misery
And you love your company
Pedal to the metal
Right down to the floor
Switchin’ between gears
Revvin’ up the motor
It’s never enough
I know you’re not my friend
Because you only love
The ones you can expend

The road you paved, road you paved
Leads you to a dead end
Slither away, slither away
Baby, back to your den
You say it’s only fair
If you can take a bite
You’re so full of yourself
It’s blinding your eyesight
You’ll spin around, spin around
To swallow your tail tonight

(PRE-CHORUS, CHORUS)

P-p-p-pedal to the metal, oh no
Pedal to the metal, let’s go
P-p-p-pedal to the metal, oh no
Pedal to the metal, let’s go

Don’t you pretend, oh no
Like you’re not in my head, oh no
Don’t tell me I don’t comprehend
Your expendable intent, oh no

No, no, no
I’ll never settle

(CHORUS)

You’ll never be a friend
If you only ever love
People you can expend

How Nice | Lyrics

Ammie-Marie Littke — Sat, 16 Mar 2024 16:12:37 +0000

Breathe it in, the poison
Let it let me slip away
Cull the darkness growing within
I don’t mind the bitter taste

Spit it out, the venom
As I drift under the tide
Let the madness gain momentum
In the corners of my mind

In this life, I’m a revenant
Scattered ashes on the dunes
You’re the picture perfect person
In this ambient folie à deux

Why should I try?
Why should I care?
I’ve wandered this lonely road so long
When you said you’d always be there

PRE-CHORUS:
So, shape me, mold me
Shift back the sands of time
Deny me, even mock me
From the top of the hill I must climb

CHORUS:
How nice it must feel
To be unbroken
To be unburdened, to be healed
How nice it must feel
To be happy
To be thankful, to be fulfilled
How nice it must be
To be free from insanity
To be drunk on dignity
To be off the edge rising gracefully
How nice it must be
To be you
Instead of me

Come with me, the distance
Beyond these shallow tears I’ve cried
Into the wicked tresses
Where a part of me has died

I’m withering away, like roses
Collect my petals off the stones
Retrace your love as it decomposes
Inside my aching bones

(PRE-CHORUS, CHORUS)

How nice it must feel
To be unburdened by the memory
Of those who left you behind
How nice it must feel
To be fulfilled by the promise
That tomorrow will bring you back to life
And you’ll rise, rise, rise
Against the embers of the night
As the dawn renews the morning light
One last time

(CHORUS)

How nice it must feel
To be happy
To be free from hostility
To fall off the edge and glide down gracefully

How nice it must be
To be loved
To never know what it’s like
To know that you’ll never be enough

My Shadow, My Friend | Poem

Ammie-Marie Littke — Sat, 24 Feb 2024 18:46:27 +0000

On a warming February afternoon, I went for a walk in a vast, wooded forest. Under the high winter sun, my shadow grew in multiples of my height, accompanying me along the winding trail like a giant. The trail was muddy and slippery, with solid patches where the sun's distant heat dried the damp ground. Fallen leaves from the previous autumn littered the ground. Fallen trees tore up the Earth in pillowy, rooted mounds. I remembered the first time I ever truly noticed my shadow. I was a student in 1st Grade and my elementary school was practicing fire drills. In a single file line, we marched out of the classroom. We turned left, and walked down the hallway towards the exit, where our meetup spot was just outside of the back of the school. Standing in the warming sun, I listened to the blaring sound of the fire alarm echoing across the parking lot. I looked around me as other classes exited the building. I glanced down at my shoes, and noticed a change in the color of the pavement just off the right side of my feet. I followed the outline of my shoes to my legs, from my legs to my arms, from my arms to my head. I moved my arms and lifted my foot, watching as the silhouette followed my every move. I had heard about shadows, and I had noticed them before, but this was the first time I was studying my own shadow. I noticed details about the shape, height, and width of the shadow as I moved around in a circle. The further away I was from the ground, the larger my shadow grew against the light of the mighty sun. The top of my head seemed so much bigger than the soles of my shoes! Eventually, the sound of the alarm was silenced, marking the end of the fire drill. As we made a u-turn around the parking lot back into the building, I watched my shadow twist and shift as I walked. It slowly disappear under the shadow of the building as we got closer to the double doors, returning back to safety of the hallway. When the last bell rang for the day, I packed up my bookbag as quickly as I could, eager to greet my shadow one last time before I had to get on the bus. To my great disappointment, my shadow was gone - hidden by an array of cumulus clouds that filled the once-sunny sky. I was confused by what happened, and waited for what seemed like forever for my shadow to return, but it did not. Once again, I followed my classmates in a single-file line, and made my way to a window seat on the bus. As the bus rolled from stop to stop, the sun burst through the clouds, and cast a large shadow of the bus onto the ground. Finally, there it was again. All the way home, I studied the shadow of the bus as it distorted and moved against the sidewalks and roads. I noticed how the wheels moved with the light cascading in kaleidoscope patterns. It was a beautiful sight to see.

The Vagaries of Serendipity | Poem

Ammie-Marie Littke — Tue, 26 Dec 2023 23:30:47 +0000

Being in a love can feel like a bout of hysteria. Your days are full of lamenting fantasies. Your nights are full of lustful temptations. Like an endless honeymoon, close is never close enough. Then, there comes a time when those feelings fade in the comfort of stability. Sometimes, you lose sight of those passionate days of your youth. Sometimes, you let go of the dreams you once had and the hopes you believed would be the same in your future. You forget that "close enough" was once, simply, enough. As the days turn into years and then, turn into decades, if you're fortunate enough... time changes the very fabric of our being. What you once desired becomes a dream of the past... What you once believed becomes a fool's errand... The person you once were bids adieu to the person you have become... and all you're left with is the memory of what was.

Back To You | Lyrics

Ammie-Marie Littke — Mon, 04 Dec 2023 05:25:35 +0000

Ooh yeah, ooh

Every moment is the same without you
The days just blur in my head
Every memory shatters my world view
All I can see is in red

What a beautiful thing it is to be
Happier as the days go by
Never really knowing what we’ll lose
With the passing of time

Is it any wonder how we got this far?
Driving 95 down the coast in your car
Losing our way chasing signs on the interstate
Heading straight into the eye of a hurricane
Crashing over dams in our headstrong reservoir
And baby, we don’t even know where we are

CHORUS:
But if I’m with you, then
Ooh, I’ve got nothing to lose
And if I get lost, then
I’ll find my way back to you, yeah

All I want is to be there by your side
And hear you whisper my name
Promise me that everything will be alright
Even if nothing’s ever the same

Follow me from the edge of the shadows
Like an eternal flame
You will always light my way

I’d retrace every step I’ve made
To touch the silhouette of your face
How did we ever get this far?
When we don’t even know
We don’t even know
Who we are

(CHORUS x2)

Keep on running, running, running
Running, running, running, baby
I know you’ll always be free

Keep on running, running, running
Running, running, running, baby
I know someday I’ll see
You again

You are my everything
You’ll always be
With me
Safe and sound
In my memory

Iris | Poem

Ammie-Marie Littke — Fri, 20 Oct 2023 23:19:09 +0000

My portraits of the past
remind me of all I have lost.

How cruel this world is
once you have given everything,
and have nothing left to comfort yourself,
as you pace around the barren,
haunted hallway of your life.

All I’ll ever be is dancing with ghosts,
holding them close,
wishing for one more day of life,
yearning to hear their heartbeat
ever once more.

All I ever needed was to be loved,
unconditional and true,
its light of a thousand suns
carrying me through
the darkest of nights.

Part of me longs for the mother I’ve never had,
fearful of accepting the one
who is just as broken as I am,
who made me broken
in her brokenness.

Part of me longs for the love
that will never be,
the blossoms that will never flourish,
the taste of bittersweet memories,
tormenting my subconscious.

Part of me wishes so desperately
to be free from this world,
evanescent amongst the stars,
lost to the patterns
of time and space.

On this day, 33 years ago,
I was born into this world,
unwanted and cumbersome,
begging for the comfort
of a mother’s love.

On this day, 33 years ago,
I was born into this world,
sleepy-eyed and hopeful,
eager to never let go of my father’s hand
as he vanished into the void.

It’s so hard to believe in yourself
when no one else does.

You’re on your own kid,
and the clock is ticking away
ever so slowly,
ever so briskly,
in fleeting moments.

Tick, tock.
…Tick, tock.
……Tick, tock.

I am but a remnant of mother nature.
a grain of sand in the vastness of time.
a moment after everything began.
a distant memory after everything ends.
and so it shall be ever more.

Give In To Me | Lyrics

Ammie-Marie Littke — Tue, 01 Aug 2023 19:19:58 +0000

You are cold pressed
You’ve got a heart of stone
A chain reaction
And nobody knows

You take the good, leave the bad
You won’t give it back
You’re the stroke above
A midnight heart attack

PRE-CHORUS:
You say you want more
But you won’t give a little bit
You keep what isn’t yours
Someday it’s gonna do you in
Beep, beep, beep (Woo!)

CHORUS:
On one knee, you said to me,
“I’ve got everything
That you’ll ever need, baby”
Talk is cheap when you’re made of money
Flauntin’ diamonds and pearls
Like I’ll come running, honey
Refreshing, like a cool drink of water
But under the surface
You’re just a smooth talker
Sayin’, “what you get is what you see”
Oh, “you won’t find another like me”
Beggin’ please
(DRUM/GUITAR BREAK)
Oh ooh whoa now
Give in to me-ee-ee-ee yeah
Have mercy

Well, you’ve been spreading the word all over town
You say you’ve got a good one, gonna settle down
Who’s the lucky lady, did she fall for your ruse?
Boy, it wasn’t me, ’cause I see right through you

You’ve gotta lotta nerve preparing a wedding speech
Which lie you gonna serve at your reception feast?
The invite is open, the whole town’s in for a treat
Because every girl you burned will be takin’ a seat
(PRE-CHORUS, CHORUS)

BRIDGE:
It all starts off with a little prayer
Dressed to the nines, it’s a tailored affair
Touched by an angel, your lovely bride to be
Such an elegant woman for a human centipede

Shimmering in white, walkin’ down the aisle
Headed towards her Trouble with his crocodile smile
Standing at the altar, lookin’ bamboozled by love
He don’t even see the bride is one of us

The preacher asks, “Boy, do you have the rings?”
“Any objections? Speak now or hold your peace!”
Half the congregation jumps up to their feet
And every scorned woman shouts, “You belong with me!”

One look at his face, I knew that he was a goner
Revenge is her name, and I’m her maid-of-honor
Whoa yeah yeah yeah ow
(CHORUS)

Oh, what I gotta do to make you believe?
Karma is a good friend to me
Give in to me
Give in to me-ee-ee-ee yeah
Give in to me
Give in to me-ee-ee-ee yeah
Give in to me